So today I got Jack White's solo album, Blunderbuss, in the mail.

Ahem...

AAAAAAAAAANJGSGBISIGBJSDGNIBLARGKJNDGHBAGBISDG

I love the White Stripes, the Raconteurs, and the Dead Weather, his live performances on Jimmy Kimmell and Stephen Colbert were rocking, and even Rolling Stone magazine gave it a 4.5 out of 5, so I was looking forward to listening to this very much. I just put the CD in, so as I listen, I'll add my summaries and feelings of each song. This is my first music review, so whatevs, I'm doing this for fun.

1. Missing Pieces
This is an alt rock, guitar-and-keyboard driven track about what I believe is a one-sided relationship. I's a great opening track.

2. Sixteen Saltines
A punk-rock jam about music and its image, addressed to Jack's music career. I love the line "Spiked heels make a hole in a lifeboat."

3. Freedom at 21
A pumping song about being shoved into the dirt by a lover. Sounds like a great song to have kinky, harsh sex to.

4. Love Interruption
Speaking of harsh relationships... This song is slower than the other songs, played on acoustic guitar. This is about love itself as a lover. Maybe about loving being in love?

5. Blunderbuss
I think this is a song about someone cheating on someone else for you. A forbidden relationship. It seems to be less about love itself, in contrast to the last few tracks, but the lover. A blunderbuss is a handheld explosive cannon, by the way.

6. Hypocritical Kiss
This piano and guitar track seems to be Blunderbuss from the point of view of the cheatee. Is that a word? (I know I'm using the word "seems" a lot. Well shut up, I'm writing this review in real time.)

7. Weep Themselves To Sleep
A dirge about the cheater from tracks 4 and 5, and his feelings about how dangerous a weapon love can be made to be. "Nobody knows just how it goes to show That the villain will play the victim." Plus lots of guitar solo.

8. I'm Shakin'
Damn it, Jack White, just write a song about fucking already and get it over with. I'm just kidding, never stop. This song has background vocals that sound out of place on paper until you hear it. This quirky jingle is about getting into love and the hypnotizing feelings that come with it.

9. Trash Tongue Talker
A song about a girl who talks to a boy about fucking EVERYTHING, and is always in a bad mood because of her shitty life. He's had about this much of it. *climbs on a stepladder and holds my hand above my head*

10. Hip (Eponymous) Poor Boy
A ragtimey song about living the worst life in the world happily, rejecting pity and substituting cheer. I'm going to listen to this song whenever I'm down. ...Wait... I think this is actually about Jack's feelings about the solo album and having to live up to the White Stripes. Still happy as hell. "And you'll be watching me, girl / Taking over the world / Let the stripes unfurl / Gettin' rich singin' poor boy / Poor boy"

11. I Guess I Should Go To Sleep
I think this one is actually about going to bed. And sleeping on something, like a fight.

12. On and On and On
Life goes on, and we have to live for the future as opposed to the past. This has a vaguely Tally Hall-ish vague about it, specifically Andrew's (Green's) songs.

13. Take Me With You When You Go
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! ...That's all I have to say.

So that's Blunderbuss. There's not a single song that I'd want to skip over when listening to this, because every one is a work of art. It's like Jack made a thousand songs and hand-picked the best. The style varies from punk to piano, and not a single genre feels out of place coming from his guitar and mouth. This is a new White Stripes album. And it is good.

PS: As I flipped through the lyric booklet, I noticed the little symbolic people icons in the margins. Each one has something to do with the song. I Guess I Should Go To Sleep's figure is crawling up lines that look like stairs. Sixteen Saltines' is floating in water, like it was in a recently-burst life boat. Cute. All lyric booklets should do that.